♫”Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
We’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again” ♫
Listening to P!nks song on her new album I found myself going through old boxes of “stuff” (my English teacher would say that there is no such word as ‘Stuff’ in the oxford dictionary.) Well this stuff made my mind wonder to the last few years and each item has a story to tell. A teddy bear, photo’s, pictures, letters, etc. Then I found it – my old diary. Quickly paging through it to see if it had any important items lodge into it and near the end I found a drawing with hearts and love words written everywhere on the page. I declared on this piece of paper my love to a High school crush. (butterflies and red cheeks) O my gosh, I was head over heals for this guy.
I started to laugh at myself remembering what a nervous wreck I was in his presence. Always eager to learn something new from or about him . Hurt if he didn’t notice a change in me. (I think he did know I liked him a lot.) But as I got older the teenager crushes became a thing of the past (still had a crush or two but not as big as my first) Dating guys that I in secret compared to my first ‘love'(crush).
Single – a word that some people fear as a relationship status and is what all at some point want to be.(give or take the relationship their in) Finding that I was searching for Mr Right and always thinking I have found him. Just to be disappointed to find that I got my self Mr right now. Looking at my past relationships with the opposite sex I could see why I had short lived relationships in the last 10 years. He who I shall not name was my Mr Right or so I thought at that time. I had compared my relationships with guys to him. (sigh)
Well to be frank some girls(if not all girls/women and boy/men) have a list of what they want in a partner or relationship. Some women denying it by stating they just want true love with… (but here it comes) a man that will be with her. (first requirement or first on the list) then comes the looks department. The list may it be short or long we all have are pro’s and con’s of what we like and don’t like. We go and find our list relationship (Mr right – according to what we want and not what really need) ending up with Mr right now. Happy at the start then comes the differences, the fights, the heart ache to finally end in a breakup. We settle most of the time for Mr right now thinking he is Mr right. Dreading the single status as we get older making Mr right now a Mr right.
I thought that finding the right guy was according to my specifications but I hit the ground hard with that assumption. The last few guys I dated was to my liking because they fitted into my list to just be rudely awaken weeks later that it was not meant to be for me and him.
I have been single for sometime now. You could say I am happy at times but not always. (It does get kind of lonely sometimes) but I decided that I am waiting upon Mr Right and not going to settle for Mr right now.