Comparing the old with the new?

Hey to all reading this,

I was at a party this weekend to celebrate not only my but also three of my friends birthdays…

But that is not what I am blogging about today. It was something that was said at the party that had me thinking. Do people compare their previous partner with there recent one and is there a possibility that people have a dating preference, like the check list but subconsciously.

My friend Anika and I talked about it for quite sometime that night and we came to the conclusion that there are patterns. Like I only dated guys that has a C in his name or begins with it. Where she finds guys attractive that has a h in there name. (Crush on them) and it is all subconscious as if your brain wants to find that letter and make a spark. kinds-of-lovers-300

Could it be that we have stumbled onto something that changes who we choose. So what does this mean? We have got to the point to say okay maybe this could be linked. What are odds that there is always the same letter in the name or that starts with it? one out of a billion right. So it can be, or can it? Can there be a pattern, making you choose one letter from the alphabet and that is search by your brain in the name and surname to feel more attracted to a person?

What if it is possible? you mind works hard and helps your heart to choose the right person. By taking a letter and making it a plus in the blood rising and tingles in your stomach?

I don’t know but am trying to find out.

Now I am baffled by all the info storming in my head from the total possible patterns that one person can have. The possible combinations and patterns that your brain can follow to choosing the right partner for you.

First one is the overall looks….ceac6c183be5c7e99d7457544612db26

You can deny it as much as you want but in the looks department everybody wants something that will attract them to their other half. And this list can be endless. (some want a Barbie or Ken looking person. Perfect on the outside.)

That list you made of the perfect man/woman.

Hair….. that what color, length, style etc.

Body…. type, shape, skin, length etc.

eyes, ears, mouth, nose, etc.

(Can you see the pattern here be it that the only thing resembling the previous partner may be eyes or hands but the fiscal pattern is as clear as daylight. be it like that guy only dates blonds or girls with tanned skin.)

But unfortunately we all have flaws, be it acne or one extra toe. Even thought it has that perfect vision of the perfect person you  might only get 80 or 20 percent of what you want. So you can’t get a hundred score here but does this  pattern not lean on the might date again cause you have got the looks I want in a partner but not the personality.

Personality pattern…..17rbhix1kqss5jpg

There are numerous things that can attract someone to your personality. Like you have the fun and loving personality that more can relate to than being shy and withdrawn but that is not all you have to show. People are socialists and for that to be satisfied we interact as a way to nurse our curiosity and fill the empty spaces made for others in our life.

(Can that be that people can only fall for what that person is on the inside or is it just a myth now that personality is everything.)

But the pattern is there even in the smallest way it is. Dating different people that either have a short temper or kindness in common. Do you really know what kind of personality you like? Is it enough?

Now what we have two persons. One with the looks and the other has the personality. Witch do you choose?

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This is only a few options of patterns that I have gone through. Like the letter or name of a person there is the months or numbers (date or birth year or even age) another study that can be thrown into the batch.

What is the month that has the most of your ex – partners in it. be it anniversary or birthday or when you met. think about it? could this be another pattern we use to meat the one.Calendar_0Now there is one pattern that I know some people have used more than anything. Star sign compatibility. You might think o yes that has been more than effective for thousands of couples over the years but is it really as effective that you can find your partner. So the great search begins. can any of these help with finding the one?

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So I am testing my own thing here and got the following conclusion ( TAKE NOTE THAT EVERYTHING HAS BEEN CALCULATED TO MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS  AND CRUSHES)

Letter assosiated with more than 60% of guys I have dated?         C

Body type etc – looks (my preferences)?         lean, brown hair, hazel brown eyes, sexy hands etc.

Comparison to the looks  _ Lean and brown hair

Personality?  Fun, loving, extrovert, artist, talkative etc

Comparison to the personality?  Fun, extrovert and artist.

Month in common?  March – either started dating or their birthday was then

Number?  Only pattern  that had me thinking. what did it have and the nr 3 came forward.

Star sign compatibility….. Pisces and Aries

Now thrown together will it be a way to get the perfect match?url

The pattern becomes more and more complicated when throw together and the possible outcomes are endless.

Might this be an endless search or are we on to discovering a way to make many lives easier?

 

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Smoldering hot part 4

900x900px-LL-80669158_funny-gif-no-no-no-Jason-BatemanIt took my a while to get my eyes use to the new light and my focus was on one person only. it couldn’t be him went through my mind. Chris Anderson. Geek of the class and smartest guy by far. He was kind of my friend. Remembering prom night when we made a  packed that we would be better then any of them at our reunion. And with keeping in touch  over the years I recognized his voice.

WOW. Why haven’t I made sure we met before this day. Ten years over the phone made him like my best friend. We first just called to wish luck with something and congratulate each other when it was a birthday or something like that.

Never guessed we would end up talking every day about our lives. It soon became natural to send a email once or twice  a week. Having late night conversations over the phone. Why was I so stubborn to meet for coffee.  For once my head was agreeing with my heart about him.  He smiled and greeted the small crowd forming around us. I didn’t even notice. I had only eyes for him.

There must be something wrong with me. How can I be in love with one man and the next have the hots for another.

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My body was screaming from all the heat. I wanted him bad not just by how he looked but what he is and means to me. I stumbled forward. touching his arm lightly. He turns back to me and those green eyes had my knees all jello, ,y body was on fire. The glasses and braces were gone. The once scronie body has seen a few good workouts in the gym over the years.

He smiled and took my hand. Bending down he plants a soft almost not touching kiss on the back of my hand. My body was in full alert now. I wanted him bad. I am hot just from one kiss on my hand. What will happen if those lips found other places to softly kiss. I am shaking from the inside out.

11601 He has me wanting more. He moves us back into the gym still holding on to the hand he kissed. I follow willingly. Not sure what is waiting for me. Second time tonight that I have been led to the dance floor. Hold tight against an amazingly build man. his soft words was for my ears only.

“Glad to see you again Mandi” I could only smile not trusting my voice now.

“When we talk over the phone you have more to say. Why so quit?”

“I don’t have words. You have me speechless. Stunned.” His low laughter sends signals down my body that I have never felt.

“I was aiming for that. And I am glad I got my goal. Now for another one.” I was confused. What other goal?

“Mandi, you look beautiful tonight. ” He pulled me closer. My head tilting backwards to look into is ever green ones. Seeing him descend down with his lips. my eyes close automatically. Feeling his lips feather light touch mine. His tongue grazing over my lips. Before taking possession of my lips and sending me into a sea of passion he smiles against my lips.6a00d8341bfa6953ef0147e30aef37970b-500wi

To be continued

Smoldering hot part 3

300_1010434The door opened with ease. The music was loud but not deafening. And I was freaking out little by little as I made my way into the gym. The whole gym was decorated almost like our prom with streamers and lights every where. Prom was another thing that made me want to turn around. Going solo was the plan to show them that I did not care but as soon as I entered the gym that night ever one made sure I knew I was alone.

Being brought to a halt I return to reality leaving the past behind. I have walked mindlessly around the gym to just bump into the person I wanted to see the most and the least.

“Theo.” I get out with a stutter.
He had me by my fore arms keeping me from loosing my balance. He caught hold of them when I started retreating backwards due to the connection. I wanted to say something but my voice was caught in my throat and I was missing air in my lungs. he was still the most handsome man I have ever met. His hair was still in the same style just a little bit of gray to make him more sexy. I swallowed the lump in my throat without any success. His smile had me hypnotized and my heart was in a race on its own. “Mandi, wow you look great. I was wondering if you would be here.” He pulled me closer into a hug. My body was fitting his 100% and I could dream of waking up in this arms for the rest of my life.But reality was it can never happen. We are to different people and high  school was a good example for not messing about now. I pushed at his chest to create some space but he had a lethal grip and the hold on me  was tight. His breath near my ear made me aware he was nearer than I would like for my own comfort.

“I wanted to do this since high school” he whispered into my ear and it almost felt like he kissed my ear. I was stunned  by his bold move I could not move or speak. He let go first before taking my hand in his giving me another smile. “How about that long overdue dance we should of shared years ago?” tumblr_ml1cwbyAW61rv5zh8o1_400I followed him to the dance floor without any protest my cool collected persona was bugled by my quick surrender to someone that hurt me so many years ago. My mind and heart was in a fight about what to due but as soon as he pulled me close again and start moving over the floor like we have been dancing partners for years. My heart won and my mind went blank. I am still in love with this guy. I never outgrew the crush, never felt the need to let go.

We danced for a few more songs. I was in heaven about this and feeling more confident about everything I looked around and saw a few faces that was familiar. I was not laughed at or pointed just a smile of acknowledgment to the recognizing who I was. It was a different lot of people I was looking at. They were not the same and so was me too. We all changed through the years.

“Do you know how beautiful you are Mandi? I could not take my eyes of off you when you walked into the room.”You made a few people’s heads turn when you wandered around the gym. I only wished I had not waited ten years to see you again.” I looked at him puzzled.
“Why?” I asked “Did you wait so long to find me?”michelle-old

“I wanted to get hold of you but you made it clear I could turn blue in the face before you will let me talk to you. I tried hard but you pushed me away.”

“I had to after what happened with the whole text thing and Sandra.”

“I did not send those thing to her and I tried to tell you back then and I am trying to tell you now that was Sandra’s sick mind putting thoughts into your mind. Sorry for not coming after you in ten years.” I was stunned  again the same apology after ten years and still he doesn’t look me in the eye to tell me he wanted me ten years ago like he wants me now.

“What if I told you she made the best mistake by telling me that because it showed me what I have not been missing in my life for the last ten years. I have not missed you I have missed the thought of you. You are still the same guy nothing has changed about you but i have changed. I am staying with my first decision about this that it is not going to work.” This time he looked stunned and frowned at me. The fantasy world he was apart of vanished as the words of real world hit me. I wanted more than a few minutes of heaven. And Theo could not give me that. He just couldn’t be the one.

Walking of the dance floor was hard with my head held high. Walking past everyone to the doors that I just stepped through a few moments ago. Opening seconds before I got there. Bright light making me stop to cover my eyes. The figure standing in the door was huge build to keep any girl have wet dreams about. hotmen_8lsdoyhx

 

To be continued

 

Smoldering hot part 2

HighSchoolReunionPart 1

I had to stop myself from turning around and walking away from the only time I could show these people that ruined my life in high school. The bulling and teasing paid of I was a successful lawyer with a mini mansion and a few sport luxurious cars. I could face criminals like it is nothing but standing in front of these doors made me feel incompetent to do any thing. How could it be that being here again makes me feel that way? I did not want to be the scared and the invisible girl of high school. I wanted them to respect me and be amazed.w-eb925d222e

But feeling like I aSchoolDoorsm going to faint was keeping me from opening the doors to the past. I was stronger and better then I was in school I could do this. I have to do this. As I am reaching out for the door, it felt like my heart was going to jump out from running so fast. My hands felt sweaty and I feel so nervous I could hurl. What is wrong with me?

Pulling myself together and mental pep talk was not enough. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I was again the student and not the respectable lawyer.  I have changed a lot since High school but the school still seemed to be the same.

The wooden doors creaked as I push it open. The sound made me jerk. That has not changed. Senior year I crept into the hall to see Theo play basketball on the court. I know. Stalker but I had a crush and needed to be near him. He was a Jock and a gorgeous one. Eye candy as my mother would say.

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Though she loved this place a lot to my dismay. She would make comments on what good school it is and the perfect place to finish school before college. I agreed to the terms as long as I can go where ever I wanted after my final year. Mom died last year and that  was the first time I came back to this place after almost ten years.

Walking down the most familiar hallways that I spent most of my time at. I saw the small show chase was made bigger and I had to stop. Seeing the senior football team and the old trophies shine as if they are spit and polished every day. I smiled at memories of game after game  I went to too see Theo play.

Shaking my head to get rid of the images of him I started walking to the Gyms doors.  This was it. Time to face the music.300_1010434

To be continued

 

Smoldering hot part 1

Funny-GIF-Hidden-messageSchool, one of the places I dreaded from the moment I walked into the yards. Being the odd one out was natural for me. I have moved more than any one I knew. Seeing places that people only have heard of. But for my final years of school. My parents settled in a small town.

Small town that I had no desire returning to after school. But the invite came and was like mocking me to open it. Trembling of fear as the memories returned from being the joke and the disaster. The freak. How could I return to a place that made me not trust men after what happened with Theo.

Theo, the guy with is whiskey colored eyes and dark mop of hair. Strong jaw and dimples when he smiled. My knees are like jelly just like way back then. I still feel strongly about him. Doesn’t matter if we haven’t seen each other in ten years. If I close my eyes I could see him. He is in all my dreams.  He haunts me everyday. He is the reason I haven’t had any love life since that night. tumblr_mdtbbmnSPE1re1fn0o1_500

Sandra’s face laughing at me after reading the text he had sent her about our date. The date that never happened ’cause I am smart enough to know it would never have worked. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as that dreadful day replays in my mind. From where Theo asked me out to dinner.

“O I want to get to know you, Mandi” I was a fool. He wanted to have me humiliated in front of the whole class. I was dress shopping for I had nothing to wear. I have never been on a date and I wanted it to be perfect.

The perfect first date – Doorbell rings, date escorting you to the car, he opens up the door like a gentle man, at the restaurant he pulls your chair out and have a sweet nothings talk before taking you out on town talking and touching. Small things before escorting you to the door. The final perfect kiss to end the perfect date.

It never happened and just because Sandra saved me from that. I text him that night after I saw his text explaining the hole prank. ” Theo sorry but this is not working for me.” He tried to call but I ignored it. h5374C325

The week went on with the invite staring at me everyday since it came in the mail. I haven’t opened it and the curiosity was eating me up from inside. Another week past and the thought of not opening it was getting to me. Reaching for it and hearing the paper rip open. I stared at the single page invite. The reunion invite with the schools stamp and info.

The old roads was still as I remember bare and dusty. No tare roads. That even didn’t surprise me. I loved driving and with the top off I could be free. Driving slow on these roads made me close the top of the BMW. I loved this car and love my job too for this was perks. Lawyers have to look the part. Smile broke out for the first time thinking of my best friend John from law school. He was my rock and my partner in crime. How I wish he could be here with me and not on his honeymoon. I adore Amber. Don’t get me wrong she makes John happy and we get along. But some times I need some boasting in my life and this was one of my moments.

Now ten years later I feel like it is the first day of school again. Feels like I had not traded my glasses for contact lenses and my suit changed back into a uniform.  tumblr_lh8r3ezobY1qevypto1_500fdfcvcv

I am scared. I am afraid my worst fears will become reality. I am afraid to take the steps up to school hall. What if ?

To be continued