HEYYYYYY!!!! I know it has been a while since my last post but I have been extremely busy. Really busy that if I got home at a decent hour I pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow.
So I have good news and I have good news. So the good news is that I am on the verge to write the end of my first book still ten thousand words but the end is near. It is the first book that I will have written and finished. Just so you know I have put half of it on wattpad.POP STAR PRINCESS, go check it out and feel free to comment.
Then I am one of the co-writers of IN TOO DEEP. And I am loving it please go read and vote. So that is the good news.
I know not that exiting but sure a big turn in my life. Just wanted to share my happiness with all.
For those who haven’t seen the movie – He’s just not that into you. (please go watch it) It opens up so many unanswered questions for both men and women.
Okay yes it is not everyones cup of tea. Or even the sort movie you would normally watch. But it made somethings clear to me and I would like to share my thoughts on this to you.
1. That thing we are taught from a young age boys/girls hurt you cause they like you are some what true (in the movie you see the girl’s mother saying that the boy likes her that is why he did it). 90% of all romance novels, novellas and movies are based on this theses of boy meets girl, boy hurts girl. Girl falls in love with boy. finally ending boy kiss girl. It is actually brilliant. this simple concept is used to brainwash every over emotional girl into thinking. O that guy has the hots for me that is way he is insulting me, He doesn’t want to look uncool. Visa versa. It happens to guys as well.But in reality it doesn’t work like that. he/she likes you or not.
2. Search for signs that that person is interested. What signs? Come on he/she is flirting with you or not. So the guy/girl comes to you with smoke signals and sign language. If interest is shown you get to read the signs quit clearly. trust me, on this one. everybody can read that language. except some people do read it wrong.
3. Despite everything desperate partner seeking is so general now you can’t believe it from personal adverts on sites to speed dating. Don’t be shy we have all tried it once. what has happened to meeting the person you going to be with for the rest of your life the old fashion way?
4. Social circle… Something that you get divided into when having friends. Classed and separated by social structure and demand. You are recognized by the company you keep.
5. It doesn’t matter how you look on the outside what matters are what is inside. This has to be the most used line on any website dating service around the world. When did it ever became about your personality other then your looks? people say things like that but don’t mean them. i take from personal experience guy will be all over you because you are so cute and easy to talk to until they get a glimpse of what you look like (don’t deny it girls you are precisely the same with guys) Then it is come hell or high water they cover their tracks and disappear.
6. When the thought of being alone for the rest of your life makes you take option one – marry the guy or girl you dating for longer than a year it may be your only chance to get hitched. Really think this through People say there is many fish in the sea and still get married to the person that they fancied to look back at their life and feel it was a total waist. Affairs form and divorce is not that far behind.
We are social beings and we need to have that one person we share our life with. It is in our DNA.
The flight went on better than I would imagine. With no other disasters to fill my all ready long list we landed in France (city name). The short ride to the cabin was over flown with plan making from the parents. Making it clear that we could do what we want but had to be present for dinner every night. I was not much into the idée of sharing my day to day doings but to keep the mood happy I agreed to the many rules. Quietly making my own mental list of rules as the excitement in the SUV build amongst the parents.
Try not to make a fool of myself
Be cool and collected
Get a romantic affair going with a guy
Get Al out of my head
Lock bathroom door when occupied in it.
Get as much time on the snow
Feeling more in control with myself and what laid before me in the next three weeks I got excited for the first time on this trip. Not letting myself waist the time I get to do something I love the most. Snowboarding. Dad taught me everything I could possible be able to know and on that board I am not weird Amy or clumsy Amy. I am extreme Amy.
“I can’t believe we are finally here. Now to get things going, Amelia” The use of my full name was my dad’s way to warn me. “I would like to talk to you after you unpacked.” “Yes Dad.” I walked down the hallway to my room. Feeling a little jet lagged was not stopping me to get dressed more warmly for my first snow date. I wanted badly to get out there and feel freedom.
“Amelia, I know you are not at all happy with this vacation but please try to make it enjoyable. And knowing you well I am not going to preach about it long. But before you go and make fools of the other boarders. Please be save and I love you. Okay.”
“I love you too Dad. Thank you I will try to do so.”
Almost racing for the door to get my freedom I craved for just to be stopped. Celia (Allen’s mom) wanted help with some groceries that the keeper of the house bought. ‘Argh. Why’ Reluctant I went to help. Freedom was only inches away. Before she could think to give me more work I was out the door yelling over my shoulder “I shall be back for dinner.”
‘I am Normal’ repeating the words in my head over and over.
“Who am I trying to kid.” saying it out load made it a reality. I am weird. After over hearing Allen “Al” MaCoy, my crush, making that statement “She is weird.” to his friends. It stuck in my head. He didn’t think much of me now and being cooped up for three weeks in France at Les Ménuires Ski resort. He might just think the worst of me. Just cause my father and his mother was taking us on a family vacation. That was the only reason he would have contact with me.
Al’s mom is great and makes my dad very happy so far I could see. Cause I am living with my mom most of the time, and get to go with dad on vacations and some weekends. That was always fun until a year ago when Al became my stepbrother, that I have a crush on. To be fair I have had feelings for him long before he was kinda related to me. We are both in collage away from home. Not helping to be the same one but if I do get to see him it was because of something he had to give me from the parents.
My vacation started with a horrid episode. Al saw me naked! O my gosh (OMG) He just walked into the bathroom when my knickers hit the floor. I was in shock and yelled a delayed scream that made him smile and walk out before my dad was up stairs. Mortified and feeling self conscious on what happened that morning i tried hiding behind big sun glasses.
To make maters worse for me – we were sitting next to each other for at least seven hours flight to France . Trying hard to not think of him, trying harder not to make a fool of myself again. I made an attempt to snuggled deeper into my seat, retrieving my iPod from my hoodies pocket and putting up the volume as the pilot announces our departure.
Some few moments later I felt like someone is staring at me and knew it was Al. When I looked up to meet his stare I felt the butterflies go rapid in my gut as he smiled at me. Surely remembering that he saw me butt naked and screaming. He found it amusing. Some how he removed my earphones and started talking. It was like this morning didn’t happen as he just kept talking more about the slopes and tricks. I jerked back against my seat. It was the only way that I could stop myself. I wanted to run my fingers across his strong jaw to his straight dark hair hanging just a little over his ears. I am weird. He looked at me puzzled.
” Are you okay?” he asked with another smirk on his face.” Ya sure just…it is nothing.” My father must of seen it an his concern stare came from across the path that separated us from them. “You sure honey.” Feeling lot more weirder I just sink down in my seat wishing the flight was over. “Yes Dad I am fine just a little tired.” Hoping this statement would save me from dad and Al. But Al kept looking at me with some face, I could have said would be “you’re Weird”
After the party and the amazing snogging under the oak tree.I was sure that my heart made its decision on who it truly loved. Fred was taking me on our first date. I was kind of nerves and checking the clock now and again. Wondering why time is going so slowly.
The drive to the movie was silent and felt awkward but when one of my favorite songs started playing on the radio I just had to sing along. He starting laughing and I was blushing like a red robot light. I wanted to talk but the butterflies in me was giving me trills and my tong being totally twisted didn’t help either. Some how it was strange to go from friends to boy/girlfriend. Looking for some sign that this was not a mistake. The feeling inside me is still new and made me scared to tell him everything. How did we move so quick from telling each other everything to simple “Hey”.
Worrying about what is really going on I didn’t notice that we where at the cinema. When I came to open the door for me I snapped back to reality taking the hand that he was holding out for me with more blushing and soft “Thank you” whisper. Not letting me go he pulled me back against him. Lowering his head I just closed my eyes. Waiting for his lips to touch mine. Feeling his breath as he says “Relax” before taking my mouth hostage. WOW my toes are curling and my heart is like a racehorse going fast. Not wanting him to let go I pull him closer to deepen the kiss.
If it was up to me I would have not moved but he leaded me to the movie. I am still craving his lips to be on mine. Through the movie he placed his arms around my shoulders tacking me in by his side. I felt his fingers playing with my hair or rubbing my shoulder. His other hand found mine and was playing with my fingers. I guess he has no idea what this little bit of touching does to my body. Reminding myself that we are in a public place was not helping the need for him to touch my lips.
It felt like ages when the end was showing and don’t even ask me what the movie was I would have to lie because I don’t remember. I rushed him on so we could get out of there. I wanted him all alone my mind was losing control and I wanted to kiss him like there is no tomorrow. He saw my eye’s and smiled. A devilish smile. No! what! wait! Just kiss me all ready.
Making out in the drive way was not that romantic but sure as hell beats not being kissed by this guy. Letting go was not an option.
With my heart doing somersaults and my eyes big from the fright that the curl of his mouth caught my attention immediately. Kissable lips that would make a girl crave more of its touch when lingering inch from her own lips. Feeling a blush taking my cool collected look out of play. He had said something but my mind was not functioning at all. It made a small effort but all I could think and wanted to do is kiss him. In my head Sebastian was singing ‘kiss the boy’ (little mermaid.)
And some how Ted had join our group without me even noticing. His shoulder was rubbing softly against mine while turning to listen to Fred or the other guy that seemed familiar. It didn’t bother him at all, standing so close. Yet he is so far. When all of their eyes were on me I was turning redder not knowing what was said. I was wishing that the earth would swallow me at that moment. Laughter filled the room and Ted’s arm was draped over my shoulders. Holding me tight to his side. Feeling save and so right to be under his wing. Just hoping he doesn’t feel my body shaking and trembling from his touch. The sound of my name made me frown.
Who would dare take me out of my dream when it was getting so good. Except it was not a dream and with a puzzled look at the person calling me the spell was broken. The girl that had been so rude to take me from paradise dream to reality was non other then Ted’s ex girl friend.
If looks could kill I would have been dead right there. She gave everyone, one of her perfect fake smile and with husky voice called Ted’s attention to her. I am burning up inside just from her lack of humanity. She could charm the whole lot with perfect words and looks. Not even caring who she hurts in the proses.
Fred was now close to me and with his hand covering – the now open space where Ted’s arm was – my neck. Fingers rubbing soft against my hair. Just another shot of shivers went down my spine. Good grief it felt like my body is on fire. I felt a soft push at my back. Fred was talking and taking me outside. I listened while he talked, taking in what he felt and feeling his body so close made me want to kiss him. Before he could finish what he wanted to say I laid a finger on his lips replacing them with my lips seconds later.
Second kiss was even better then the first (at least for me). Kissing under the oak tree, where we played years before. in witch we build forts and learned to dance. he deepened the kiss before pulling away to look at me. Our eyes met.
Could it be that I have been blind by Friend zoning some one like Fred or was I just to determent to have Ted that I had not notice my best friend?
Round2 – When I looked at myself in the mirror my heart was racing all over again. The tingle in my lips where there as if he just kissed me. My best friend kissed me just days ago (Lets make it easy his name will be Fred aka best friend) His cousin invited me just minutes ago to a party. (will call him Ted aka Cousin and crush)
What did I get myself into. I can’t say a love triangle even if it may sound like it but I have no idea what Ted feels for me and not even thinking of Fred. My whole world was turned upside down with that kiss. Why had it effected me so much. Pulling at my hair and curling them once more. Wearing jeans and a shirt I made my way to the party. I felt like a teenager again all butterfly stomach and my heart was sitting in my throat making my gulp and swallow hard. Before I could change my mind some of our mutual friends was behind me talking and greeting. Almost like it is fate giving me a push to go through with all this.
After almost running to the restroom I caught a little bit of my breath and giving myself a pep talk was not really reassuring even coming from myself. My eyes searched for them not wanting to be confronted before I was even a slight bit better with my own thoughts and heart.
I was startled by a hand that landed on my shoulder. Fred!!