Crushing on someone….. why it can’t work and is there love out there????

Finally getting time to write and it feels like ages since I have last been on this site. So quick recap on what has been going on.

Work. Work. Work and ..uhm work. Welcome to my dull life.



Okay I am admitting it. I have a crush and it is making me go mad inside out…

The problem is it is NEVER going to work. How do I know this? Cause I do have eyes and I can see that if there was a mere chance of this being something it would end in disaster.

When people encourage the fact that you might feel something for someone more than friends, don’t go on it cause stalking is WEIRDstalking-cat-o

May it be on a online or in real life. It can be seen as not harmful but sooner or later it may cause you to over annualized and  over react when that person is near. Trying to be near to him/her when you share company. often looking their way to see a glimpse of what you think you want more than anything. Freaking out to never be near you again is the end result.

Now for the person being stalked, it is flattering in the beginning then it begins so become a hassle to live with before getting scary like some of the shows on CRIME CHANNEL. My BFF tried to kill me. Stalkers. How-I-Met-Your-Mother

Scary as in they begin to think that you are capable of that if it is not stopped, but the bad thing about this is that it is done in the wrong ways 70% of the time.

Taking in consideration that each and every situation is different it all comes to the same point. Do you really want to be the WEIRDO and outcast of everybody.

There are so many ways of stalking it is scary to think it is happening every second of everyday. It might be you or your best friend or some stranger doing it. So take caution and think before you take crushing on someone to the next level.tumblr_ld5pilcmQw1qaxdato1_500

Back to the part of people/friends telling you that your crush has feelings for you after they find out about the crush bit. It is astoundingly the worst advice someone can give you but it is kind of reassurance that you are not in a bottomless pit. I have given that speech about a few times that time will tell and so on but in the end. What matters most is that if you guys were meant to be it would happen.


Don’t push the envelope cause you can’t wait for the RIGHT ONE, you might find that you can burn easily. Other than disappointment there will be regret, shame and dread. But the heart ache always seems to last only for as long as you are still fascinated by that person. Until the next one comes along…


They say that falling in LOVE is like taking a leap and trusting that you don’t fall. But is crushing really love? Does it really compare to true love? Some have proved to me that when you fall in love with someone it can start with a crush and end in happy ever after. But that is like one 1 out of 7 that it can happen to (guessing here the number can be higher in the odds of it happening.)

So is it love or just FASCINATION? What is the difference? so I ask something different – why do people fall out of love so quickly? Is it because of mistaken fascination as love? Another why is Divorce rate so high over the world? Is it because of society placing the perfect wife or husband and people fall for image more than what their hearts want? Daily-Life-GIFs-20-Guy-Screaming-at-Another-Guy

Why do I need to fit in the cookie cutter? Be another clone to  become a Stepford wife. I have to say that people would use the word NORMAL now, but it is not normal? Sure we have the right to see who we want but it is all a lie. If it is not about social status it is about what you look like. What happen to don’t judge a book by its cover? Is it wrong for a girl that is a few pounds over weight or totally over weight to get the hot guy with muscles. And the geeky girl with glasses get the hot party guy. What about the science guy finding love with a hot model or a comic con guy finding it with a beauty queen. Or is it to remain fantasy for so many?

ANSWER.…. It wouldn’t work socially. Really!!! Do you know them all personally? Did you date one of them cause how can you tell me that it is not acceptable for any of these people that are seen as incompatible can’t date or even love? Social media has made it mostly impossible for more than half the world to function without the guideline about who to date and what to avoid.

urlDating…. Social media and networks are the future dating sites. You don’t need to go out on a date to get to know someone. just login and STALK their profile. Easy fast and best place to avoid any awkward moments or even taking the risk of finding true love.

“O no I wouldn’t date him look at his profile pic. And there is no selfies…. ”

Ahg don’t get it. Just cause he is not photogenic doesn’t mean he is not the person for you. What about you? Do you think you are online dating worthy? Is there not someone out there now looking at your profile and thinking that you are undated-able? How would you know?


Do you Like the face to face date that makes everything WORTH going through? That just maybe love will come unexpectedly…. world-without-wb-one-tree-hill-rain-2

So the big question now is how do you KNOW if it is love or just a crush?

Think about it………


“It’s like I’m thirteen again and he’s my crush. All I’m aware of in this entire roomful of people is him. Where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s talking to.”
Sophie Kinsella, Remember Me?

“He barely knew I existed. I knew some of the same people he knew, but I was a girl in the background, several degrees of seperation removed.”
Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”
Hilary Duff

“…we’re all fucking Duffs.”
(Designated Ugly Fat Friend)
“I’m not the Duff,” Wesley said confidently.
“That’s because you don’t have friends.” (Bianca)
“Oh. Right.”

Kody Keplinger, The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend


Wedding rings and the best man part 4

Minutes later my husband came back with star bucks coffee and donuts. Chocolate chip and cream donuts they are my favourite. How did he know?

He came in for a kiss. This kiss is like a drug once I start there can be no stopping me from wanting more. I turn my face away just in time for his lips to hit my cheek. Big mistake the chills still went down giving my body a wake up call that he is near.

“So babe,” He continued like I didn’t just reject his kiss. “What’s on your mind?”

My insides are screaming ‘You!’ But my mind has other plans.

Latching out on him about my sister and the wedding in two days. Why I was here and the ring thing.

He listened to me like I wasn’t complaining about things. I stopped to look at him. Some of the cream of the doughnut was still on his upper lip. Making me bite into my lips. Tempted to kiss away the sweat cream to get to his delicious lips.

“Can you read minds?” The question just popped out.

“Why do you ask?”

“You know more about me then I would tell to anybody when I first meet them. How is it possible?”

“We just clicked that’s all. “

“It can’t be that simple. Getting my favourite donuts with my coffee just as I like it, it can’t be a clicked thing there is more.”

“You are quite the talker when you are ahead. Not that it is bad.” He added when my face was going a nice shade of red.

“Talker. I only get like that when I have vodka. Did I have any last night?” looking back to his face. The morning shadow of stubble was making him look sexier. Giving him a rough and tough look. And I married him. One thing is for sure when he walks in I loose all my good senses and wits’.

“I only recall the few drinks we had after rocking the dance floor or kind of dance floor at the pub. You were persistent with the barkeeper to let us stay for a few more but he was hard to convince.” I looked away from him to the window and somehow the lost memory gaps where returning.

“We went to that road house afterwards. With the big uhm cowboy statue, didn’t we?”

“Jip that is where you proposed and we got married in the chapel a few blocks down.”

“So why did you marry me?”

“I think that after hearing your story and you hearing mine. We just did it.”

“Your story? And what story of mine? Wait I told you about my ex and the wedding”

“Yes you did. And mine was almost the same. We have a connection but the sparks flew with the very first kiss.”

“I kind of remember some bits of last night but there are still a lot of dark parts.” I turned back to face him again. “Maybe you should tell me.”

“I might later. I am on my honeymoon baby we have a lifetime to get to the glory detail of how we met.”

“I have my sister’s wedding to added and to get this” moving my hands to and fro between us “sorted out as soon as that is done.”

“Sort out what? We are married.”

The urge to strangle him was getting huge. What did he think we would stay married?

“I wasn’t going to tell my parents. O hi mom hey dad guess what I got married two days before your precious little princess.

And to make things worse my sister is going to throw a big hissy fit. It is going to be blaming Amber game. Trying to steal her lime light. The only thing that she could be the center of attention. I had  ruined by marring some guy.”

“I shall be there to protect you babe.”

To be continued

Wedding rings and the best man part 3

(This contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable)
I must be dreaming. This can’t be real. Opening my eyes to stare into blue eyes that sparkle or shine.
“Hey” my voice was low. His hand that was draped over my bodice curled up to my face tucking away a stray strand of hair.
“How about that coffee now.” he smiled at my confused look.
“What a way to speak to your wife.”  giving him a light poke against one hard fore arm.
“Ouch, that hurt.” But he could hide the pleasure from his voice.
“Big baby.” I wanted to move away but he pulled me closer. Kissing my lips with butterfly kisses. As he proceeds down to my neck to the one spot my pulse was going mad.
“I thought you wanted coffee.”
He raises slowly giving me a grin that made me feel boneless.
“Darling I am a newlywed so maybe just to refuel I would get the coffee.” He looked reluctant to leave but got up. Giving me a good look at his backside. I blushed when I saw the red lines that I made with my fingers when he took me over the edge. I could feel the heat again waiting impatiently for his return. To take me again.
Pulling the cover over my head reality come knocking on my door. I got married to a stranger. A sexy stranger build to perfection. A sexy, sex god with stamina of a kind I haven’t yet experienced. The love making was out of this world. The touches and kisses. Not even mentioning  his skill.
I am going to have a problem with walking if he can do this to me over and over again. But facing reality didn’t seem like an good idea I wanted this fantasy to last even for one more time. My phone ringing got me out of my day dream or not quite a day dream a reenactment of  our bodies in my mind.
“Hey Stephanie.” I greeted my sister.
” Amber, where are you? I have a ton of thing to do before the wedding and you are a no show with the rings. Charles is having a fit cause he thought he could trust you with a simple task to get the rings from the jewelry store.” Her ranting and display of annoyance with me. making me the bad sibling was an usual trade. Being the oldest and making the way for the younger bunch.
“I am not even going to be done when the wedding march starts. Why aren’t you here?”
“Seph, I just got the rings last night.” It wasn’t a lie. I did get them. I just didn’t mention a tiny problem. Other wise she would have a field day with me.  I am not afraid of many things but one thing that is on that short list is my sister’s temperamental mood swings.
“I slept over in the hotel because my flight was cancelled.” I remember being late for the flight. The silence made me worried. Did she believe that.
” So when shall you be here?”
O no, she is angry.
“When I can catch a plane back. I am on my way to the airport.”
“Call me when you know your plans. Cause mine doesn’t seem to be worth anything to you.”
The sound of silence came again. Looking at the phone in my hand my mind was pointed to one side. She is mad and I am in shit about the rings. The ring made rainbow of light colors across the sealing. I had to get it off and back into its boxes. How am I going to explain this to her? O god I am so going to hell for all of this.
To be continued

Wedding rings and best man continue


(This contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable)

He moved and my mind was snapped back to the man in front of me. He was more magnificent then any guy I have been with. Broad shoulders with strong arms,  that had hold me tight through the night till just minutes ago. Long fingers that my mind was recalling to have walked and spread over my skin and body a few times  during unprotected sex. My breath caught in my throat. Making it hard to breathe.

I could be pregnant.

He was at my side taking my hand  pushing my slightly down to sit in a chair opposite of the bed.

“What is wrong? You look like you saw a ghost.”

“I might… be pregnant”

Silence was overwhelming and something broke in me. I cried.

That seemed to be the most reasonable thing to do at that moment. Tears that he wiped away before gathering me up into his arms holding me against his heart that felt safe. I wanted to stay there to savor the moment but the thought of depending on another person now. Was not what my head wanted but my heart yearned for. I wanted to feel save like before Andrew left. I wanted to be loved like I am the one and only. I wanted to belong to someone.

Pushing slightly against his chest that made the fire in me turn up. He had his head on top of mine before I moved. now his face was inches from mine. Blue eyes searching for a signal that I am alright.

As if it was natural to take my hand up his torso from were they where  on his chest to his shoulders. Reaching for each other behind his neck. Moving closer to close the gap to his lips.

Instinctively my lips moved against his. Tip of my tongue sweeping over his mouths opening. A soft moan that came from the back of my throat startled me, giving him just the signal to deepen the kisses more. Somehow I was back on the bed with him over me the way he kissed was certainly a drug that I could not think to live without any time soon.  He hands got hold of my shirt pulling at the hem. My hands had a mind of their own traveling over him. helping him get rid of the boundaries that was still between our skins. Soon both panting from heated insides and overdrive hormones we look with wanting at each other. I wanted him deep buried inside me. Moving and taking me with him to paradise. His eyes talked the same sentence.

“Love me” was all I said before falling back on to the bed. My body his for the taking.

To be continued